What is fanservice? That’s a good question, a question I wondered when I first watched Evangelion. At the end of each episode they kept having Misato say, “And be sure to watch the next episode there’s fanservice.” I never felt serviced at all, even though the episode would be pretty good I wanted the fanservice. After watching anime for about a year or so I finally figured out what fanservice was.

Anime + Definition of Fanservice:

Fahn – sehur – vycess (breasts, panties, shower scene)
The showing of animated characters’, usually female, sexually provocative regions. This subliminal message is intended to be addicting and usually has no purpose otherwise. Fun rating: 0

Shower Scenes Make a Good Anime

When a character steps into a shower you know it’s going to be good. Once that steaming water hits that naked body with carefully picked camera angles you will be forced into submission.

Anime + Definition of BeingWhipped:

Bee-ying Whihihi-pp-eeeed
You grab your ankles and happily take whiplashes to the back. You do not think. You do not have free will. You were with the animals that did not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. You love being told to buy merchandise. You always watch commercials, especially GoDaddy.com commercials. i.e. Shinji Ikari

Anime Whips You and You Like It

An anime is saying to you that you are perverted and all you think about all day is sex. You will try to get a peek at any part of the female anatomy anywhere. That means even if it isn’t real. Examples of this would be:

• Two oranges placed closely together.
• Two balloons placed closely together.
• Two watermelons placed closely together.
• Panties.
• Bra.
• Spandex.
• Colored Pictures of Characters.

Served

I don’t know if it’s Japanese culture or the target audience of certain anime, but it seems to be a prevalent thing. If someone is watching an anime and says, “Whoa her tits are huge!”I would most likely reply, “I can draw bigger ones. I mean, my intention of watching an anime is to see something fun and exciting not to see a gargantuan amount of circles. If I wanted to see that I’d go to the Olympics, just the Olympics aren’t fun and exciting.

Conclusion

I have learned from fanservice, therefore right now I will be providing YOU with REAL fanservice. Please enjoy and be forever engrained with the thought of ANIME +

OO

The Characters SUCK
The characters really do suck. I mean Edward is as stereotypical as you can possibly get and he is not dynamic at all. He’s boring and entirely predictable. Furthermore, he doesn’t look cool. I would go on about the rest of the characters but they are all the same, predictable and annoying. They just have this seemingly “badass awesome” factor that people are suddenly attached to. What is so good about Envy? Nothing he looks like a girl. What is so good about Alphonse? He is annoying and makes no contribution to the series at all, not to mention being an absolutely flat character. His armor isn’t even cool. It’s hideous and not only that but he has incestuous thoughts about his brother. Tell me I’m wrong…

JJanime writes:
“The characters are so likable, this alone is enough to give a reason just to watch this show. They grow on the viewer and you actually care for what happens to them. There is somthing about the characters that makes them seem belevable and realistic, therfore, you can relate to them all in some way or another. They are all well developped in every aspect to.
The reason I gave the character ‘9′ instead of ‘10′ is because there is not enough of a variety of characters.”

 

This is a good example of someone sucked into the vortex, he seems to realize that the characters do indeed suck but thinks because they are “cool” that they are good. Are the characters really believable and realistic? Are they well developed? Ok, just think back a second and think about how god damn lame it was when Alphonse thought he wasn’t really Edward’s brother.

The Action SUCKS

By the action sucking I mean there is no action. You watch a few episodes and you see Edward fight some guys and you automatically think, “OH BADASS!” but then you forget to realize BONES is doing this to you on purpose. They stack the action in the beginning and make long annoying episodes that go nowhere in the middle. Sound familiar? Think back to one fight in the anime that was awesome. “Greed vs. Edward?” Oh I didn’t see that one coming since it was basically the only fight scene in the anime and lasted thirty seconds. Think about how many fricking times you thought a fight was going to start and it didn’t. They did it to you on purpose just to keep you watching in order to push their ridiculously weak plot.

The Plot SUCKS

Cataphract writes:
“In all actuality, 51 episodes probably was a bit too short for FMA; by the end, quite a few ends are left undone, as they simply did not have enough airtime to be fully explained. However, while on the topic of the ending, I say this: bravo. While not perfect, it certainly merits recognition, as most series often suffer a crippling, much-to-be-desired conclusion. FMA, though a bit rushed, ends with both originality and tact, leaving a very open end for a sequel while, at the same time, properly ending FMA as is.”

You know he’s heading in the right direction but he spends his time just praising FMA because he loves it while not being able to look at it objectively. You know why 51 episodes wasn’t enough? Because nothing happened. FMA rode an easy ride; they had a lot of viewers so they took it easy with the animation when they suddenly realized they had to end it. They created this so-called “complex” plot and tried to tie up the loose ends the best they could at the end. At the end did you think, “What the hell? That was stupid.” You probably did, or you probably tricked yourself into think “TOTALLY AWESOME”, but even you realized that there wasn’t even an ending fight scene to save face.

Bottom-line

FMA is overrated, pure and simple. The plot was poorly executed. There was no action. The characters are not dynamic. Everything is predictable. People cosplay it too much.